I GOT A “YES” TODAY

WALKING THROUGH REJECTION`S DOOR

Was scrolling through my Instagram feed and saw a post commending independence.
It’s a hard tell, if your independence comes from a place of rejection. It’s a better tell if it’s all from your mindset.

This is you, starting up as a child never looking over for support. 

Call it Grace,

Call it Intelligence

Call it Strength 

Call it Survival

Whatever you choose to call it. I commend you. You’re doing great.

This was meant to be a rejection tale, a word for all the No’s you’ve been rewarded with. This was meant to be about all the times you didn`t think things were worth it.

Fine, you didn’t get the urgent 2k when the going was tough. Of cos, your friends shrugged you off when you needed the support…. That aunty who neglected your cry for help?

I get it,

We are used to tough. You’re not in the WhatsApp group of the privileged few, take your birthright and move on. You`re not alone on this train.

The Goodnews is; You’ve been called to be more.

This me … Countless No’s with a YES worth a thousand more 
2021 and getting a YES to online scholarships, saw me through learning processes that created a new shift in my career status quo. It’s funny how at that time my email notifications came in week after week with congratulatory messages. If I was told a day will come, when I will be able to get things done without being financially capable, I would have said impossible

January 2020
I remember missing out on an opportunity cos I didn’t have the finances to cater for my traveling expenses… The “No’s” couldn’t support and it was really Okay, COVID made me understand the true meaning in TIMING. I look back to that moment and smile cos, in reality, God`s ways are not mine. his plans and thoughts are way superior.

I got a YES … And I’m most grateful

Today, I celebrate all the “YES” that came from God, Strangers, Friends, My sacrifices, Hardwork, Patience, and Consistency.

Rejection should teach you, not make you bitter…
It should open you up to looking at other alternatives to the problem you now encounter. It should open your eyes to your day one, the community of people whose goals align with yours and whose support will never run dry.

@marrietify

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THE MOVEMENT

A PART OF MY JOURNEY

Growing up I was taught in school about the different types of leadership and for some reasons I never got to experience the Autocratic rule till sometime in 2019 when the Buhari`s regime began it show of power.

I lived most of my years in a small town called Makurdi at a time when I couldn`t afford the use of social media, my only encounter with a bad government was visible in insecurity (the TIV/Fulani crisis) Fuel scarcity, bad roads, low wages for workers, an extreme lack in good medical and educational facilities and some others. The government at that time ruled with corruption, the need to manipulate the masses and not by autocratic, the desire to be a god amongst men with so much impunity.

Life was reasonably affordable, you could live on little… This is not to say that our lifestyle value doesn`t come with a cost as its a lot higher in general than it was ten years ago. The Buharis regime is my first experience of a government as an adult after the Johnathan regime and my first encounter with an Autocratic ruler in a democratic country like ours.

The Johnathan regime was fully democratic, voting was easy and well talked about… This is not the same for our present government as we recorded deaths and very little turn over in the last election.

This government is characterized by its Ego. at all levels, you could see men in power who will rather silence critics than take corrections or move agendas for a better Nigeria.

EGO

Who tampered with our president`s ego?

Who canceled his threat and deleted his speech?

Who woke sleeping beauty up?

We took a dare and touched the tail of a lion?

#KEEPITON

We will Continue to speak up, raise our voices for we own a movement of young people who are now very involved with what is happening with its government. A movement of intellects, human activist, social change makers. leaders, public speakers and community gate keepers

SORO-SOKE

SPEAK UP

Keep it on is more than just a trend. To my Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn community “Soro-soke”

A BETTER SCHOOL

A school about the content not results

A school with better opportunities of learning

A school that accommodates all areas of life

A social school

…

Lana calls “result is out again”… she says, just when I was about saying… Okay, the line ends. I call back and ask, what’s the matter? Her voice was silent for a while, she goes off crying. It wasn’t what she expected; it’s not even close to the hard work… I listened and said what she needed to hear… it’ll get better, when clearly I knew the system is not at all what it is.

In this part of the world, you don’t get what you want; hard work is a bit overrated. Have had days like any other student and it’s not at all easy, “the reality is do your best and leave the rest”

I feel like a failure “who told you, you are failure”,

Who wouldn’t?

In my head, I know… the lecturers who come in to remind you of how lazy Nigerian youths are, the students who come into the lecture hall on time to reserve spaces, “bags own sits too”.

You see, have had my share, you don’t take breaks off school without someone thinking “she has become complacent”, deny you of their lecture notes on return. It’s a struggle, survival of the fittest. “we have those who clearly have nothing but school to worry about”, they tease and curse “No one wants to be seen with someone as unserious as you” … they’ll judge your choice of friends like they love right.

At that moment you tell your friend, I’ll see you soon… you open your note and you write

Dear Nigerian university…

Do you know how depressed your students are?, like there are walking corpses all around, sad faces trying to get through, to get the ticket to the hall of unemployment waiting for them outside… these teens don’t get what they deserve and the lessons in class are not enough, not working actually… on what right do you judge who is better? And why do you have that Failure label hanging around, waiting for your next victim… who told you everyone should aspire to be an Einstein, how about Oprah, Mother Teresa or Kendrick Lamar?, why call them Hopeless, when all you’ve done is taken the little they had… I know there are some really lazy students moving around and sometimes I think … yea “the environment is made up of the good and bad” but no, you’re growing timid adults, people that can’t stand up for themselves for a simple reason that they don’t want to be slammed with an extra year… “still wondering why the youths care-less about the country’s fall?”, You’ve denied them the chance to explore and be productive in their own way, you teach us stuffs written by others from long ago, our knowledge is termed wrong.

“The system has failed, not students”.

These students give in their best in an environment that is unfit for learning, some choke and fall ill due to an overcrowded lecture venue. Don’t get me started with the strikes and unending delays, it’s obviously a long list of beef and I don’t intend to spend time frying.

….

To the ones whose education is determined by a failed system

Let your future be defined by you, by the content of the purpose you carry, not the result.

You are not a failure.

HOME; IS WHERE THIS ROAD LEADS

WHEN THIS ROAD LEADS ME HOME

This is the tale we get told, the stories that shapes us… I recently spoke to a friend about just living life and getting seen, Like no worries, no nothing. We spoke for the best part of the night, unsure of where this road will lead us to?

In this Journey we have academic pursuit and career attainment as an end point for some, for others wealth, marriage, children and fulfilment. A never ending journey as we are constantly looking forward to the next step, the next big break.

Sometime in 2018 I had a swift rush of Depression, was mentally down for a couple of weeks… This happened at a time when I was about making a major decision in My life, it was a turning point of some sort. A time when I had to put my foot down and make a move…

It was then I realized that Mental illness doesn`t necessarily require you to be roaming the streets stark naked, raving mad –  It is anxiety, lack of self-confidence/self-love, timidity, guilt, abandonment of goals, self-isolation etc. with Depression sitting tall as a major mental disease.

Going through that and out, is today a blessing. I am thankful Suicide wasn’t an option. Thankful I stood by myself and picked her up as quickly as she fell. Thankful for God, good friends and growth.

I have been on this road for a long time now, running a race I don’t quite get … like ‘getting it is the tiniest bit, keeping it together is everything and all.

Where this Road leads me

I hope it considers every bit of pain I’ve seen, the hustle and tussle, the lonely caps and empty sits… The betrayals, the love, goals and aspirations

I hope it looks back as it looks forward to understand the very being I’ve become

I hope it counts my days as it would a bag of rejected pearls, choosing to hold me close without doubting the phenomenon I can grow into.

Where this road leads me … When this road leads me

I pray it leads me home.

marriet ify

WHERE THE NUMBERS DON’T COUNT

What does it actually mean to live life in numbers?

Some years back, I attended a mentorship program for entrepreneurs… I was a young inspiring business Lady and needed guidance to building my business back in college ( in our case, university). I had two businesses going with very little return on interest and needed to add up a third to make up.

Who does that right?

Well, I did

After my training in the third business idea, i bought baking equipment, made cup cakes for a start and supplied within the local community where i live. My business venture did not cross borders into school as I had a lot of worries as regards my educational pursuit and didn’t want baking to drop my grades.

What two businesses was I into, you may ask?

I started businesses that didn’t go over two years because my financial needs met me managing/striving and did not like the idea cos How long can it wait… I got into a 9 – 5 (in my case 7 – 5) for a lot of reasons.

Entrepreneurship taught me a whole lot, the lessons from my experiences will come to make me a better investor and business personnel… I know one thing for sure, owning your time doesn’t stop the stress and hustle, it doesn’t provide security either as businesses fail but it gives you better chances at excelling in your pursuit as an individual

Back to why I started this …

I had beading skills, made and sold bead jewelries to students, mostly when we had a campus cultural event. My sale at that time was around N200 for beaded earrings to N8,000 for necklaces and other on-demand accessories. When I got into my service year, I offered my knowledge and trained some friends in this. of cos I got paid but this wasn`t enough and so This Business sailed for a year and some months and didn’t go any further for a while then. I was also a slippers trader.

A 9 -5 is otherwise called White collar Job. This is someone else's idea in motion, it is a goal you‘re putting efforts to achieve in exchange for your income, the earnings you seek. Doers all over know only how to do one thing ”BUILD”. Ownership gives them satisfaction, more than that is the zeal to keep their innovative mindset rolling.

Where the numbers don’t count By Marriet IfyDownload

A downloadable PDF inspired guide

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THE LESSON

The bible talks about being Servants to become Masters, it talked about learning to invest your little coins for a great reward. In helping others build, you learn to understand how to do it better in the next round.

Where I come from, the Igbo`s believe in stewardship, we call it (boy-boy), unlike the 9 – 5, these ones are more specific in their journey and spend two years or more gaining skills in a bid to get their desired goal.

This is where I’m getting to…

The numbers are what you make of it… How long do you want to keep doing what you’re doing now?

If you hate it, leave it. If it pays the bills, hold on a little longer

Decide only what’s best for you with no sentiments attached

This post is an open cheque… I don’t make the rules

YOU DO

POETRY (of love and Vales)

VALE-IN-TIME

Because it s Valentine

I think of love as I do of you

Memories of vale in time

I see red roses and chocolates

Red dresses not mine

Footprints of lovers standing in flame of you

…

On the sea shore

I perceive scents of your cologne

The sound of your  voice

The firmness of your hold around my waist

The softness of your lips and its rough edges

The sensation of your skin on mine

…

I think of our walk by the pool

The blue rays of the moon lightening your eyes

The warmth of your arms in cold nights

The tingling sensation in my stomach

And the yearning of my soul

…

Because its valentine

I think of love as I do of you

The sour taste of after mornings

The strange feeling of bitterness

The dark clouds and my blood shot eyes

The intoxication of a painful reality

The whittled betrayal of your breath

The emptiness of my soul

All the shadows from the past

The remembrance of your death

…

Because its valentine

I see sorrow as I see its night

The longing for a rope

A gift I made for you

A reminder of the distance between us

The thoughts of letting a ghost in

And the satisfaction of leaving a world empty of you

CREATING A VISION BOARD

In my previous post, I wrote about finding yourself and creating a vision board. You can click the link below to follow up.

https://marrietify.com/2021/01/26/no-goals-january/

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  Learn Photography

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  Get a Degree

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  Get a House and Car

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  List Your Goals

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  Vision Board Created with Canva

Today`s post is an overview on how you can achieve this. A sample copy of a vision board created on CANVA can be seen in the last slide above… Here are the three great ways of creating a vision board

1. Physical Copy; This is by the use of a card board/drawing board… here, dream pictures are printed and pasted according to how you want it to look like. this can go up on a wall in your room, preferably close to the door. YES, the door is the best place where your vison board is most visible.
2. Video Version; This is not very common, but it is a valid way of putting words and pictures into short clips, for a better focus, you can include an inspirational quote, motivational spoken words / Music can be playing in the background. You can decide a good moment to watch and listen as a reminder for your set target… its not enough to make a video, the real essence is finding time to listen… First thing in the morning and before you go to bed are both great times of the day for self reflection.
3. Digital Vision Board; This is basically a collage of pictures, words and call to action made in a picture or pdf format… I find it handy because having it in my smartphone as a wall paper helps. Now this can be created with ease using phone Apps available to you. A good example is the CANVA app. Others include VISUAL APP, IWISH,PICMONKEY E.T.C

STEPS TO CONSIDER

1. Have goals and prioritize… Without goals, there will be nothing to work on.
2. Create a basic structure for your vision board. ( the What, Why, How and When)
3. Write goals and ideas on a paper or digital sticky note
4. Find images and words/captions that best suits these goals of yours
5. Sort and arrange the images and words according to its relative importance
6. Create your Vision board
7. Remember that editing and updating your vision board is a strong growth strategy.

Creating a Vision board keeps you grounded in achieving your target goals.

NO GOALs – JANUARY

Hey Marriet! do you realize tomorrow is still January?

Have you made your bucket list? Your goals and aspirations… These where the questions thrown at me… My friend deserves a mention here (Thank you Onome for putting me on my toes).

2021 is suppose to be the year when I do all of the things I spoke about in 2020… I made plans in 2020 with 2021 as my target year, a deadline of some sort.

LOST

I have been so uninspired and empty… I took my journal several days ago to make daily/weekly and monthly goals but nothing seem to be popping up…

Have I suddenly lost the will to thrive, to push, to keep moving… Have I suddenly lost the zeal of an achiever, is it not too early a year to not know which way to lead… Yeah, this is what we struggle with, if you feel the same then this post is for you

FIND YOURSELF

Its okay to begin at the middle of the road, even when it takes a lot of time to figure things out, the trick is in knowing… your being aware keeps you in the know that you`re standing still instead of moving… it tells you, you need to refuel, recharge, reinstall and get up.

This January, Create a Vision Board, a visual representation of your goals. You dont need a full bucket list, just enough of what the end of 2021 should look like. Monthly goals met with target deadlines give better results... Do not stand still for too long, find yourself cos time waits not…

YOU CAN DO THIS, You can be the best, you can begin and be successful… MAke failure, Rejection and downtimes your push.

Remember, Tomorrow is still January

WHY YOU SHOULD PRAY

Learning to Pray for Yourself

In Africa we believe in several schools of thoughts…

Our very own culture Is deeply rooted in these sayings…. A part of our belief talks about Man and the hidden powers in his tongue. We believe that each person can bestow upon himself gifts by asking/proclaiming them …

Science says the universe responds to your thoughts, the law of attraction is dependent on you…what it really means is that our thoughts attract our results

BE INTENTIONAL… Pray for yourself

There is no selfishness in making you a priority in your prayer life, remember you are all you`ve got… here is my little note for you

I PRAY FOR ME

Today I am learning to pray for me
To speak to God of Me
I am using my tongue, words and thoughts to proclaim and plan better things for me.

I will raise my voice in prayers and Thanksgiving to bless this person… To lift this person and to guard this person in the presence of my God

….

It is your sole duty to make your life better…

It doesn’t matter what you`ve been called, your trials and tribulations are things of the past… Affirm better

Pray for you….
Speak positive things about and for you

Make 2021, a year of creating better things for you.

You are all you’ve got.

To a prosperous 2021

SHORT STORY SERIES

MUNA

ONLY DREAMS OF A BLACK CHRISTMAS

Hi, my name is Muna and I dream of a black Christmas.Dreams of black kids running naked with small pants hanging around their waist, elders dressed in neatly sawn asoke, tales told under creepy old umbrella trees, dances and flutes blown to tune the beats of drums. Food prepared in Mama’s earthen three legged pot, huge tones of Local tiny rice, Isi Ewu, ofe-Onubu with okporoko and freshly tapped palm wine sitting under Papa’s thatch roof on a wait to be devoured.

A big festive celebration of well deserved year of bountiful harvest with white pounded yam and egusi, roasted yam, red oil and ukpaka all been made to rest at will before the dawn of twenty fifth. This Celebration is a family gathering of fourth cousins, nephews, nieces from all generations all housed in Uncle Ikenna’s befitting four bedroom flat built on Papa Nuku (grand dad)’s land. 

Home is calling me, in many ways more than one. There is a longing; I want to feel the warmth of the morning sun, the cool feel of my village’s Harmattan breeze, the sweet scent of clayey air, to have a taste of water from molded brown pots… to listen to the cooing of strange birds hanging on the bamboo plantation at the river banks. I miss the tale of the village Dibia, the sight of dancing masquerades and Painted men, the Hymns from newly Christian converts and the lazy voice of their catechist.….

This is one wish too early, as the society has changed. Power defiles our nation like a child screaming under an abuser. I’ve witnessed men taken down in streams of a cow’s blood And women gunned with their babies strapped at their backs

A Nigerian Christmas Where human bodies blow up like firecrackers

A Black Christmas Memory

By:Okeke .S. Ifunanya